tiny dark haired girls, swimming in your underwear
the sun won’t set so soon
tiny dark haired girls, swimming in shirts much too long
shadows flicker across your face, the wrinkles come
so soon.

Kinda rushed, not worth much more.  Track by track with poor capitalization & punctuation because much of it was done one handed while holding a child, then a summary:

1. Arrow – pop gem potential, fucked up by artsy clanky experimentalism.  Hear that mechanical clanky distortion at the beginning?   That’s a sign of the worst of what’s to come on this album, kind of luck a little baby “fuck you” to people who oh, I don’t know, liked T&S for their SOUND – the  harmonizing pop-folk-rocky stuff.
2. Don’t Rush - wtf is up with the herky jerkyness?  if youre trying to sound like a robot don’t shoot for one running on betamax, go for something that’s been oiled recently. again, i hear a gem in there, but its buried is some clanky crap.  After listening to the rest of the album, this song is stronger than I first thought.  By that I mean that the rest is weak enough to make this look good.
3. Hell – better than track 2
4. On Directing – no way to make ‘talking like a teen’ not sound stupid, sorry.  This is the “Like O, Like H” shit-stupid sounding bit for this album.
5. Red Belt – didnt even notice it on 1st pass. annoying beeps. they are doing everything they can to decorate their voices with dung. this song is a throwaway.
6. The Cure - whats up with singing like a guy? decent, nothing special
7. Northshore - what song are they ripping here?  cant remember. again with the boy sing/huffing.  other than that, ok for t+s trying to do something fast… except for the part they are ripping “don’t x, don’t y, blah blah”
8. Night Watch – this is a song?  this song? sucks.
9. Alligator -  almost as bad as track 8, but not.  Wait, it’s over?  I get it, these are “short pop songs”.  But where is the “pop”?  Hell, even the “song” is questionable in some of these.
10. Paperback Head – this would be a good song for some high school kids making music in their garage. they need a music editor to tell them to write another draft before publishing.  then another.  then just file it away if this is as good as it gets.
11. The Ocean – ok this is a little more familiar now.  like one of the weak songs from the previous album. sadly, it looks good on this album because the rest is so bleh.
12. Sentimental Tune – like a weak song on the early albums, which makes it stronger than track 11.
13. Someday – same as 12

All in all, the album as a whole makes decent background noise, but it’s not the kind of thing I want to listen to in my car.   Or, really ever again now that I think about it.   If the last album was a warning shot, this one is a torpedo of lameness to the groin, T&S, your buy on sight privileges are revoked.   Potentially your “buy ever again” option too.

TWO OUT OF FIVE STARS

Not worth money.

It’s a shame they didn’t take my previous advice, and stop trying to be so damn serious.  Or artsy.  Or experimental/cutting edge, whatever.  They’ve mostly traded in what I think was a great pop/rock/folk sound for some … bullshit really.  I’m sure they like it, and I don’t mean anything personal by my comments.  By all means, make and create what you love.  Just don’t expect people to buy it.

Currently reading: Recursion by Tony Ballantyne.

I forget how I found this, suggested by people who liked something or other, somewhere webmagical maybe?

It’s decent so far although there is a glaring typo on the first page.  Second paragraph.  Wow, really??  Unless … in British English does “prize” mean the same thing as “pry”?

“Now they would be coming to prize him from his warm comfy shell, …”

Something like that.  Is that grammatical in Britspeak?

[Well shit son, I've been schooled.  Evidently that is a valid use of prize.  Learn something new...  I guess I could debate the wisdom of using semi-obscure readings of incredibly common words.... but why would I - I just learned something and now that I've posted my lack of knowledge for the world to see, I will never forget it.  For at least a week.]

Anyway, it’s about some spoiled brat guy in the future who accidentally destroys a barren planet with his experimental self-replicating city building robots, then gets roped into doing something for the powers that be in lieu of an extensive punishment of some sort.  Ahh, but of course this task is punishment of it’s own right?

Something to do with fighting off something like his little self-replicating bots (he calls them von Neumann machines), except a million times worse.

I’m sure he will confront the nature of humanity, somewhere along the way.

I’m trying to be more adventurous and trying out new sci-fi authors.   Maybe some of them won’t suck.

It came in the mail on Monday, just as I finished The Anvil of Ice by Michael Scott Rohan.  Literally, almost just as a finished it.  Like a sign of some sort.  Or, at least like a package I ordered a week ago.

Sadly, the only cover image I can find for my printing (1st print HC for $10ish from Amazon! …except that it’s got the remainder dot.  Doh!  Oh well, still hard to find) is from Amazon, and is sized funny, hence the formatting oddities.

Oh, yeah I could just crop that shit.  Well, that’s that.

Oh, right the book.  It’s quite good, but you have to be in the mood for mid 80’s fantasy – lots of descriptions, scenery, not much dialogue, etc.  It was a slow start for me, but I quite enjoyed the book and will be tracking town the other two in the series.  Lots of stuff about smithcraft – tools used, hitting shit with hammers, stuff about metals… if that’s your thing and you like fantasy this just might be your bag.

THREE AND A HALF OUT OF FIVE STARS

Before that I was reading books on writing.  Namely, these 3:

Images are links to the Amazon pages (Man, isn’t that row of search results that opens up above books on Amazon now really annoying?  Almost as annoying as italics!).

I found them all quite useful, with Self-Editing for Fiction Writers probably at the top of the list.  Lot’s of useful tips and things to consider and…and right now I can’t remember a single one of them to mention.  But hey, that’s my brain.  Welcome to it.  That’s why I buy the dead tree versions, so I can easily look things up…

Bird by Bird was, of course, the most “entertaining” is it’s a semi-memoirish type deal with interludes from the author’s life and experience hanging the flesh on the writing tip bones.  This one is aimed at more of a literary fiction audience – that & memoir(ish) appear to be the writers genres of choice – but there are lots of helpful thoughts about the writing process, and about being a writer in general that I think any writer would benefit from reading.

Writing the Breakout Novel is a bit commercial. BUT, all writing is commercial.  Even literary fiction – although it does follow its own magical rules… still, I think the book has something even for aspiring literary fiction authors.  At minimum, it will give them a criteria cheesegrader to fling their plot/character cheese against.

If you’re into that kind of thing.

I’d recommend all three.

Also recently finished up Death is no Obstacle, a series of interviews with Michael Moorcock about writing, mostly his in particular.  Yes, that’s really his name.  How very British of him.

So, if you’re a fantasy reader you’ve most likely heard of him.  I’m (somewhat, I don’t reeeeeally care) ashamed to say I haven’t read any of his stuff yet.  But, Elric/Eternal Warrior stuff is on my “to read someday” list.  I just haven’t felt like it yet.

Anyway, lot’s of interesting conversation about books and the genres he’s worked in.  I’m sure it would have been more interesting if I was familiar with any of the works mentioned, but hey! :).

He’s somewhat famous (?) for having written several of his books in record time.  I think it was like, 3 days for some. Now, I think he says he had some kind of outline ahead of time… so it’s not “from scratch” as it were.  And, they were old school fantasy, so probably what 1/3 the length of modern fantasy?  And he doesn’t specify, but I’m pretty sure it was just rough drafts… so now that I’ve deflated his sails into something much more manageable….

THE END.

[Oh, and I forgot I ordered this too:

I would have forgotten, except it was leaning against our door when I got home. ]

Finished!

At 63ish K words.  And I hate it now.

It is, as Anne Lamott would say, a “shitty first draft” – which is OK.  The problem is that at this point it’s also a shitty book.

There are bits I like but I just don’t know…I was hoping the rest of the series would reveal itself to me like it did with the last one – which  would in turn help me in finding the proper ending.  But it didn’t, so I didn’t.  Find it that is.  I ended it, but just because.  Hopefully/maybe a more truthful ending will come to me later.

I like the characters and love the idea, but it needs more meat.

Not sure where to now, going to try and let it sit for a bit, then see if it’s salvageable.  Start another edit pass on Shredded Souls I guess, maybe I’ll be pleasantly surprised.

I have an idea for some fiction, but it’s quite morbid and will be painful to write.  Plus I’m not good enough for it yet.

by: Robert Jordan & Brandon Sanderson

Well, it was just as good as I thought it would be.  I mean, really there is no let down here.  And I’m not talking about milk.

I did not see the ending coming.  Really.  I would not have expect the series to change course in such a powerful way.  Without giving any spoilers, I’ll say that the laugh in the final chapter may go down as the most ….<adjective I can’t find, but a good one> in fantasy lit.

I mean, wow.  Sure, the way they got to that point was a little cheezy but really, what other way was there to get there? The protagonist in that chapter had to learn a hard, but somewhat basic lesson, that most people learn somewhere in their mid 20s.  Often if they don’t pick it up by then, they never do.

I think Rand is somewhere in that age bracket??  Or has the whole series really only taken months?  I suppose I should look it up, maybe later.

So, what else is there to say?

Shit happens. Prophecies are fulfilled.  Every prophecy in this series comes true eventually – which is an interesting plot device and not half the stumbling block you’d think it would be.  I didn’t see how the one about Rand kneeling to the Seanchan could come around in a less than obnoxious way (ie: no stupid collaring), and yet the ending of this book sets up a few potential options.  I’m impressed.

At least one long time supporting cast member dies.  Two (?) forsaken die, probably permanently.  People are finally learning what other people are doing.  Stuff is just… well, it’s a good time to be a fantasy fan.  Only two years till its wrapped!!!  Then I’ll go through the whole damn thing again at some point.  Maybe Z will be old enough for me to read it to him, we’ll see.

One thing I wonder is if Brandon Sanderson came up with any of the big story beats, or if they were all laid out in notes.  Was his job just to fill in all the bubbles, dot all the i’s and connect the disjointed dots (which he did exceptionally) or was there more?

I think I did that mostly spoiler free.  Can’t suggest it enough.  Well, if you’ve read the previous 12 books or so.  Which, if you did, there’s no way you’re not going to read this.  So my recommendation means exactly nothing.

FOUR AND THREE FIFTHS STARS

(because nothing is perfect?)

One splash, as expected, and lots of unexpected goodness.  Good times.

X-Factor 50 delivered on at least 85% of what was expected – and there was a lot riding on it, so I’ll call it good.  It may actually be closer to 100%, but the final sequence with Doom and what?whereishe? left me confused.  If this was intentional, then OK.  Layla’s “power” is quite interesting, and I have to wonder if it’s come into play at all thus far in the series.  I like the explanation for her prescience (although the several of the early scenes from X-Factor don’t make  a whole lot of sense under this umbrella at all – the one that ended with the bathroom collapsing seems downright farcically impossibly now).  The preview for issue 200 – the “relaunch” looked really, really promising.  I bought 2 copies.  Just because.

Oh, and the majority of the people on the cover above did nothing in the story.  This was allllll about Madrox and Layla.  And Ruby and Trevor Fitzory (I know, right?) a little too.  And crochety Doom (where the hell did he go?!).

Necrosha & New Mutants 6 were pleasant surprises.  Although, …battleCypher is kinda like what/huh/ok/no/yes?  … and I SERIOUSLY doubt that the implied ending is in anyway true, but who knows, people have been dying left and right lately.  OK, not X-people.  In fact, pretty much everyone who has ever died in an x-comic was resurrected in the current X-Force run.  Except for the people I wanted resurrected (Synch!)…ok, yeah, there is only one (Synch!). Everyone else can stay down.  Please.

Speaking of dying left and right.  WOW.  Guardians of the Galaxy 19.  Wow.  Can they even call that a win with half the team dead?  Just wow, balls of steel on those writers I tell you.  And I’m not even mad about it – even though one of my favorites is gone – ?for good?.  If you like comics, especially cosmic ones, you should be buying this book.

Astonishing X-Men 31 was underwhelming.  Mucho.  But, who knows, maybe once it gets into gear…

Thankfully Avengers Initiative 29 continued to whelm in all 7 gears.  Komodo (I’m still holding out on the hope that her and Hardball work it out…) the paraplegic kicking ass with brains, Tigra continuing to just kick ass, Speedpenance getting his cat back (!) and… meeting the New Warriors, finally.  Lots of peanuts riding on the grinder heading into the 30s.

New Avengers 58 on the other hand… this plotline is dragging on way too long.  We know Bendis isn’t going to kill Cage (in fact, I’m pretty sure that the recent issue of Thunderbolts with Cage & Iron Fist takes place after this entire arc).  The Hood/Osborn stuff is moderately interesting, and the Ms. Marvel/Osborn smackdown was somewhat rewarding.  But still.  Finish this up and move on please.

Did I mention that you should pick up X-Factor 50 & Guardians of the Galaxy 19 (although neither will make much sense at all without a substantial reading and time investment in the rest of the series…but it’s totally worth it!)?

Blackest Night 4 was decent, although I think Green Lantern 47 actually beat it.  These panels are awesome.  I guess I’m a sucker for shiny lights.

I really hope all the shiny colored rings stick around.  It would also be handy if some of the current (and future, since we know Guy Gardner goes Red) non-green colored lanterns stick around.  I rather wish Hal had stayed blue – it would certainly make him more interesting.  I guess they’d have to rename the book then :P.

One note:  The colorist seems to have drawn the indigo light as more of a blue, but we already have a blue… sooo… yeah.

The bad news is that I’m totally not going to finish the Gathering Storm tonight.

by: Robert Jordon & Brandon Sanderson

What?? A “mid-book” review?  What does that even mean?

It means that I’m midway through the book and felt like making some brief comments.  Because I can.

So let’s just get this out of the way first:

It’s good.

Quite good.

Only once or twice have I stopped to wonder if a passage was Jordan’s or Sanderson’s – and in the end I didn’t care anyway.

I found myself going back and re-reading passages to soak in details – something  I almost never do.  But – this is a book I’ve waited four years for – a book most thought would never come, thanks to Mr. Jordan’s horribly unfortunate passing.  This is a book to be savored!

There were one or two points where I wondered at a character’s actions, thought briefly would they do that?, but then realize that DUH, the series has to end, so they have to suck it up and change eventually.  And besides, they both did things I actually wanted them to do – so wins were everywhere.

I’d forgotten how skillfully crafted the characters here are.  I understand each person’s perspective.  I know why they do the things they do, even if I really wish they wouldn’t.  Each one is a living, breathing thing to me – which I suppose they should be after 12 books in 19 years.

Halfway through the book feels like I just read a whole book too -  there was a point where it felt a little like one book ending, and another beginning.  The first half contained in itself  the standard Jordanian progression of things, leading up to a battle with a Forsaken and another terribly Pyrrhic victory.  There were several shifts in allegiances, and two big reveals – one about a darkfriends identity (I’m pretty sure this was news, but I might have forgotten it) – and one about the identity of Moridin.  Rand did something he really shouldn’t have done with the power (and I know it will come back and bite him – but how?!).

Oh, and there’s the requisite AWFUL cover.  Seriously what the hell is up with the proportions on this thing?  Still, they’ve grown on me over the decades (!), so it wouldn’t be a WoT book without one.  Seriously though, that cover artist….*shakes head*.

Hopefully I’ll be able to squeeze in the last 300 pages tonight.  Fingers crossed.  If it’s as good as the first half… hell of a book.

So, I’ve been working on my second “book” for about a month now.  I’m 32k in, which should be about halfway.  I’m also at chapter 15 out of my planned 20 on my outline. Although the final chapters will be denser than the beginning ones, it seems like I may need to add some things; don’t want to end up with a novella.  My goal was to hit 70-75k, then edit it down to about 62k.  We’ll see…

Midpoints of large projects are uplifting, because the end point suddenly lumbers into view, and you can feel better about yourself and your capabilities and all that.  Which is good.

It’s definitely going faster than my first attempt – that took me a year to get this far – maybe longer!  Still, not nearly as fast as I’d like to: either I don’t have the time, or when I do I’m really not in the mood (late evening kid burnout, or holding a kid).

So, “what is it?” you ask  ( I assume you ask because you’ve bothered to read this far).

I’m trying for basic pulp fantasy this time around.  Swords and sorcery.  A (small) dragon or two.  A heroine and a hero.  No unicorns (yet?).  Not quite epic fantasy, but with the potential to bloom into that with later books in the series.  Yes, it’s the first book in another series.  I can’t concept a book that stands on its own.  /shrug.

It’s about… a sword and the woman he loves.  More or less.

So recently (ok it was months ago) I was excitedly telling a friend of mine about this wonderful trick I’d learned (from my father-in-law, thanks Burt!) to preserve spinach/lettuce/etc.

Sooo…if you put leaves of lettuce/spinach/etc. in tupperware (etc.) in between two damp paper towels… it lasts longer.

As in, normally we’d go through half a bag of spinach in a week, and throw out the rest.  But now, I put half in the tupperware, go through the half bag, then go through the leaves in the tupperware.

Yay for being old!

ANYWAY.  So my friend, we’ll call him “asshole #2″ for now (me being #1) – who doesn’t read this blog (but if he does, hi Andy!), tells me “Oh, everyone knows that.”   But I didn’t.

So, just in case you didn’t know this, now you do, and now you can act all in the know whenever people talk about this stuff.

Because it’s important dammit.

Let’s take a trip down shit-logic lane, shall we?

1. Man molests pre-pubescent boy.
2. Therefore, man must be attracted to males.
3. Therefore, man is gay.
4. Therefore, all/most gays are child molesters.

Now, of course we can all point out the obvious logical fallacy involved in traversing the gulf between steps 3 and 4, right?

If not, please don’t call me.  Ever.

Instead, I’m going to dwell briefly on the more interesting breakdown of the brain between steps 1 & 2.

Oh wait, first, lets run the same logic train on a man who molested a little girl (which never happens, right?!):

1. Man molests pre-pubescent girl.
2. Therefore, man must be attracted to girls.
3. Therefore, man is straight.
4. Therefore, all/most straights are child molesters.

Oooo.  It burns doesn’t it? It should.  If not, pick up your phone – and don’t call me.

An average gay man, just like an average straight man, is attracted to people on the post- side of that wacky, sticky river of puberty.   The entrances just don’t completely overlap.   Hey – no harm, no foul eh?

Let’s get something straight:

There is a huge gulf between pre- and post- pubescence.  You should not be sexually attracted to someone on the pre- side of that river.

If you are, you are psychologically, hormonally, biologically (ETC!) damaged and should be kept away from children.

THE END.

So please, TV ads and ignorant people in general, please shut the fuck up with the “protect the children from the gays!” bullshit.  Your logic is insulting, not to mention insulting.