seasonal mood changes?
So last night I observed a perceptible shift in my mood. I moved into a phase I’m familiar with, but don’t really have a word for. It’s kind of like depression without the sadness if that makes any sense.
Like, I’m not really upset about things, but some things just suddenly aren’t that interesting, and I feel like…its one of those moods where I would probably write stuff when I was younger. I may or may not take myself up on that now, depending how long it lasts.
It’s also kind of like nostalgia without the longing or a target. Like I feel like there is something I’m missing, but don’t know what it is…like tiny perforations in some kind of metaphorical film or membrane that is “me”…those tiny perforations are things missing from “me”, but I can barely notice them – only just enough to feel a slight draft and wonder at the cause.
I have to wonder if it’s the oft-rumored/probably actual “male pms” that I think is supposed to be season or something. The seasons certainly are just about (or already in process of) switching up pretty drastically up here. Or at least it’s usually pretty drastic, who knows with the weird weather these days.
I think you are describing ennui.
See, that’s the word that came to mind as I was going to bed, but it didn’t seem quite right.
Looking at the definition, it’s definitely not quite right. Close though.
I was gonna say something else, but decided to stick to: Love you. :)