where do we go from here?
As adults. As people burdened with sadness and life, muck-stained eyelids and hearts heavy with prescience and survivor’s guilt?
I don’t know, but this is a damn cheerful sounding song isn’t it?
OK this post actually has nothing to do with midlife angst, or with how late to the Phoenix party I am (isn’t that song somewhat uplifting sounding?!).
It’s actually about how I’ve “finished” another draft of my first book, my main project, and how I’m not sure what to do with myself in the waiting interim. Waiting for my beta readers that is. I’m (mentally) pretty ready for this whole querying process … but you know I kinda want to make sure there’s nothing stupid in there before I get to that point. Or at least nothing stupid that I didn’t intend.
But while I wait…what to do? I don’t feel motivated or inspired or whatnot to work on anything else. I suppose that could be because I’ve been sick for a week now (and the rest of the family as well, it’s been an obnoxious, snotty, week or so). So hey I figured I’d write a blog post and ramble about crap. Which I can (and am!) do (doing!). Done.
No, what, there’s more?
I suppose I could dwell a moment on adult angst. On the piercing clarity of knowing, of being, of living day in and day out as a parent. Or the fear that comes with it. The raw, aching fear that someone out there is waiting to hurt my kids – intentionally or not. Hmmm, not a big fan of that. I’ll swing over towards the joy party instead. You know, the simple pleasure you take in almost every little thing your kids do? From the funny way they say a word to the looks on their face when they bonk their heads to the sound of their feet clop-clopping around on the hardwoods to that one “real” hug I get out of them a day – if I’m lucky. But you know, I’m still lucky. Very lucky.
There, done. Life is what it is. Try and enjoy it. And don’t be fucktards to each other, people. Please.
First of all, super congratulations on the book – I’ve saved it to my computer so we’re halfway there! :) I don’t think finishing just any “book” is an accomplishment, either – people can string together a few hundred pages of crap, no problem. Congrats of writing a good book. :)
Also, I say, do whatever you feel like doing. If you feel like starting to compile the query matrix, do that. If you feel like a celebratory pause, do that!
You would say that.
But did you like the song!?
So far I’ve got 5 agents in my querytracker ‘to query’ list. I’m kinda like….eh, I think I’m just going to start from the top. Were you starting from the bottom with yours? It’s risky to get burned there first… but…/shrug.
Yes, I do – though to be honest, it’s background and I’m not listening to the lyrics – like the sound, of course.
My matrix didn’t really have a top or bottom. I wrote queries based on which personalization I felt up to doing at that moment. People whose blog I read were usually the first because it was easy to personalize.
I really like that song. I just turned it up as loud as I could and danced with the boys.
I’m so very proud of you sweetie. Congratulations! I’ll try to be done with the reading/editing of draft 2.4879 this weekend.
I love love love you.
It’s so darn dancy isn’t it?? The next track off the album is just as good, I think – we heard it on the radio first I think. Called “1901″. Not quite as jumpy but still.
I look forward to your comments upon finishing :).
Give the boys hugs for me!
I love this post. The “dancy” song is a perfect counterbalance to muck-stained eyelids.
We’ve been playing it a lot and dancing with the kids. Not that I can dance but, you know, moving around.