IBS & me
So. Anyone that knows me “in real life” (and many that know me digitally) knows that I have “IBS”. I put it quotes because I’m not exactly convinced it’s a real thing. I mean, it’s definitely a catchall, but for me that might not be enough.
What I mean by that is this: “IBS” is, apparently, what (Western) doctors call any number of potentially different things that have similar symptoms having to do with gut pain (varying in intensity from minimal to crippling), bowel issues (from occasionally diarrhea to incontinence, I guess) and any number of other things. Aside from being associated with your digestive track, the main thing they have in common is that (Western) medicine generally doesn’t know what the fuck to do with you (or me at least).
Sure, they can try all kinds of stuff : I’ve had exploratory surgery, various drugs (Tagamet or something is the only one I recall, I won’t try drugs anymore), various diet changes and cameras through the nose and ass. That’s just the stuff I can remember. I’ve had this for close to 20 years now, so there are probably some tests I’ve forgotten. And I have a mild case of IBS – at least compared to some of the horror stories I’ve read about folks online. I feel for them.
Keep in mind that the description I’ve used of the term “IBS” above probably doesn’t match whatever is on wiki or medical websites… instead it represents what it’s come to mean in my life. I had one medical type at the UCLA student medical center thing describe it to me as potentially a nerve issue – something that Western medicine just isn’t (or wasn’t at the time) particularly good at dealing with. Maybe the all the nerves in my gut (and potentially elsewhere) are just hypersensitive, or constantly firing or something. Mayyyyyybe. I think this was the first time I heard the term – before that I just had “stomach pain” and doctors didn’t really refer to it as anything in particular.
I keep pointing out the whole (Western) thing because Eastern Medicine (Acupuncture and that whole school of stuff) has a different take on it, that at least makes some kind of sense that holds together when you poke it with a stick. This is compared to: “You are in pain. I don’t know why, so let’s have you drink this stuff until you shit water so we can shove a camera up your ass again and see if we can see anything yet.” I’m not a fan of this kind of answer. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll try just about anything once…. but once on that ride is enough for me for the moment.
This is not to say Eastern Medicine has been any more successful at treating me, but I at least like to hear that they have some kind of treatment plan, as opposed to just throwing their hands up or wanting to re-run more of the same tests.
So. What is MY deal?
I’m in pain constantly, since some point in high school (1992 maybe… I’d need to ask my Mom, because I don’t remember things). Yes, that means what you think it means. I have been in pain for almost 20 years. I cannot remember what it feels like not to be in pain*.
The area behind my navel feels like… well, it’s hard to explain. I’ve found that I am really, really bad at trying to describe this pain to people, even though I’ve had to do so hundreds of times over the years. You’d think I would find an answer and settle on it. No such luck. Anyway, the track, I am back on it. The pain feels a little bit like I imagine it might feel to have your insides trying to eat themselves. There’s a simultaneous constriction and sense of bloating, burning and an achy numbness that feels very much like a sore bruise. Sometimes it’s sharp and burny – not so much at this stage in my line, but there were times in my youth when I would get sudden flare ups and it would be very, very painful. Thankfully (?) my horrible memory has done me the favor of removing the memory of that particular sensation… but I do remember telling people about it.
I also have gas. Almost everything (outside of …water) gives me gas. Makes me real pleasant to be around because, if I’ve eaten certain things recently, I’m either making myself very uncomfortable trying not to fart around you, or going to another room so I can fart in peace, or just farting and ruining your aromatherapy. NO this doesn’t mean I’m literally farting all the time, but I am “feeling gassy/bloated” most of the time. Certain foods make this much worse, and this effect is almost instant. I ate a raisin this morning and farted my first first fart of the day like seconds after I swallowed it. It’s a little bit creepy. Part of what I’m working on for the naturepath is pinning down exactly what foods cause this. Beans (duh?! right?) seem to be a major culprit, even in what I would consider a relatively tame form, like hummus. Honestly I’m kind of glad hummus bothers my stomach, because I don’t like it anyway and now I have a good excuse not to eat it :).
There are other little things – like my stomach being hypersensitive to contact & having to urinate frequently, but those are minor annoyances in comparison.
What effect does this have on my standard of living? I honestly don’t know. I like to think that I do all the things that I want to do… but maybe I don’t (it does making having the kids jumping on my stomach a bit more unpleasant that I imagine it should be). I’ll generally try any food once, so I don’t think it’s holding me back there. I certainly makes things less enjoyable, but don’t take this to mean that I don’t live a happy life.
What effect does it have on my personality? Now that, I think, is the more interesting question… to which I also do not have a good answer. Would I be less cynical/cranky about life if I wasn’t always in pain? Maybe. But, I like to think that I’ve also learned things about patience and perseverance that I wouldn’t have otherwise, so I’m going to call it a wash.
Every couple of years I go to a new medical type and see if there is anything new in the water. New tech, new ideas, new something. In Grad school I tried acupuncture for the first time. I’ve been to a few gastroenterologists, and plenty of general practitioner types. Nothing has helped much yet.
Which brings us up to today (or two weeks ago, roughly). No, don’t get your hopes up – it’s not that kind of story! :P
Two weeks or so ago I found myself at a naturepath in a very roundabout sort of way (hurt my back, referred to a physical therapy type via a friend/neighbor, that person said I should see a naturepath for my IBS and spend money there before the back thing because it could interfere, gave me a few recommendations, tried one and BAM! now we’re at the naturepath).
The naturepath put me on diet you may have seen me twitter about a few times – not to lose weight, but to “cleanse” my system. I was drinking this chalky (powder mixed with water) stuff and cutting back on everything. No meat for like 9 days, no dairy for 7 or 8, etc. In the middle I had 3 days of just eating apples, pears, spinach and broccoli. And GOD I HATE PEARS. Seriously, wtf is up with pear texture? UGH. Anyway. I did lose a couple pounds as a side effect – and hopefully I can keep that off, we’ll see. The diet was also to find out if I (luckily) had any food allergies that had been missed by previous diet variations. Unfortunately, I don’t. Unless it is to apples, pears, spinach or broccoli… I suppose that is still a possibility. <.<
I’m back to mostly normal food now… but I’m trying to eat less of it. One thing the diet made me acutely aware of is that I don’t really have any idea when I am full or not. I think this is because the pain I have interferes with “normal” hunger pains? I think that maybe I was eating until I was bloated (instead of just merely full) because I couldn’t detect much of a change in my hunger level via pain/not pain so I just went until something felt different… and bloating is the next step that I could actually feel. Or something. I’m not really sure yet, this is still a mental exercise in progress.
It’s also a lot harder for me to eat meat right now, so I’m limiting it to one meal with meat a day for the time being. Maybe that will be good for my weight or digestion or maybe it just doesn’t matter.
I took a few tests that the naturepath should hopefully have the results back from before our next meeting… one of which was a very intensive analysis of my gut “flora and fauna”, so it will be interesting to see if anything unexpected is living in there.
[update: Blood tests came back fine, the "big" test results are not back yet. Bummer. ]
Why am I posting all this? I couldn’t exactly tell you… as it does feel a bit awkward … but I’ve felt like I should write something about it for a while now. Maybe it will help someone else. I know I’ve read many things on the net over the years that have encouraged me and made me feel “less alone” with my issues, maybe this will do that for someone.
I was rolling when I read this…very humorous. Sorry. It’s a mix between Dave Barry wit and Andy Rooney curmugeonliness.
I remember you having this way back. I have come across a couple people since with similar issues, but found solutions by different means. One switched to a vegetarian and gluten-free diet, and as far as I know, continues to live happily. The other person had a severe vitamin B12 deficiency, which causes the some of the symptoms you have, plus he was always tired.
Not trying to play doctor here, just agreeing that the whole IBS thing is a catchall.
Thanks!
I’m doing the gluten free thing right now. It’s pretty obnoxious and thankfully (I say this because I really don’t want to give up bread that doesn’t taste like rocks) doesn’t seem to be helping.
I might try that B12 thing… can’t kill me, eh?