AKA Starjammers v4.3 or so.

The thing with Havok and the star guy…CLASSIC.

Some major shake-ups, a direct lead in the no-I-won’t-link-it probably return of Jean Grey, good action scenes and another original Starjammer potentially dead (although I suspect he’ll return as some warped hybrid before too long).

Ch’od loses an arm in War of Kings #1 too – so the originals are pretty fucked these days.  Wouldn’t want to be Ch’od or Lilandra right now…of course they should get Hepzibah back now that she’s been in limbo for a year or two now…

[Warning: May contain mush and cheese.  Viewers may not want to have full stomachs.]

So right, “duh” right? It changes everyone. This I know, but some of the changes are more interesting, from an internal perspective, than others.

When each of my sons were born, there was a noticeable “cracking” of something internal.  I’d like to think it’s my “reservoir of love” (cheesy as fuck I know, but roll with me here crowning crowd) growing – I never thought I’d have enough to love my family as much as I do.  OK that sounds weird, but I’ll elaborate a little if you can hold your stomachs:

I love my wife more every day.  Seriously.  No BS.  Each day we continue to survive ( ;) ) together the bonds binding me to her grow thicker and tighter.  Every so often I’m like “Seriously?  I can love anyone this much?  How is there room in my heart?”  – and that has continued for years.

Then Z came and I was like “Wow, there’s room to love him immensely as well.”  Truthfully I was kind of surprised, because I’m not sure how that all fits in here.  And now with M…even more.  I look at them and sometimes it’s like I’m exploding; it’s hard to focus on it without being overwhelmed.

Something like an actualization of the old alchemical/Biblical metaphor of the “refiner’s fire”.

As a side effect of that I suspect, I’m much more prone to emotional response in general. This one is a bit more visible as I know Jen has commented on it as well.  I’m much more susceptible to stupid cheese moments with children in movies/tv. NO that doesn’t mean I’ll watch them on purpose, but if I happen to accidentally catch the death/harm/kidnapping/etc. of a child on something I’m more likely to be visibly affected.  This is kind of annoying at times, as most of the tripe really isn’t worth the emotional output.  But you know what – I’m ok with it. No need to be trapped in outdated 50s masculinity metaphors – I can cry and still kick your fucking ass if need be.  Maybe even while I’m crying.  But I’ll also be laughing at you.

What else?

Well, I have more patience that I would have thought humanly possible 10 years ago.  Things that I know would have drove me crazy years ago now just roll off (lack of sleep, son smashing your groin over and over and over and over, kids’ toy & general messes,  lack of free time, various marital scuffles, etc.).  Not to say I don’t get annoyed or bitchy – because the stress level has ratcheted up pretty damn high as well, but I can notice the difference internally at least.

My pain tolerance seems to have gone up as well, but I suspect that’s a side effect of the patience – or maybe just repeated injury.

I can sleep in stranger places.  Chairs, weird angles on couches.  Floors (true – sometimes I have to lay down on the floor next to Z’s crib to get him to go to sleep & I have to be careful not to get stuck in there for more than a few minutes or I’m likely to be gone as well).  When I catch myself falling asleep mid-word while reading to Z  I have to crack up a little.

Mostly it’s the love that amazes me though.  What will 3 or 4 children be like?  Equally incomprehensible I suspect.  Maybe we’ll find out.

M is so tiny…even the briefest exposure of the two simultaneously to my perception field has forever warped/awakened it.  Z is now huge!

I’m like, expecting him to start job hunting any day; it’s creepy.

It seems like it’s only been a day…somehow the time went by REALLY fast.  He’s extra adorable, although not much on personality yet – although, if things can be read into it, he does seem somewhat levelheaded in the sense that it only cries if he needs something.  IE we’ve lucked out and figured out what he’s needed thus far ;).

Back to work tomorrow…that’s going to be strange and annoying.  I’ve got 2 more days off I can (and will) take off this month, and I don’t work Mondays, so it’s not that bad.  Bethany is here keeping Jen company for a week, so that helps too.

And the beat(s!) go on.

Yes.  He REALLY looks like his brother.

We were playing hide & seek with the shower curtain the other night and I would hide from him, and then show my face and say “Hi!”  Then he started doing it.  It’s very strange to hear your child form actual words from what used to just a be gurgle, even if they don’t necessarily know what they’re saying.

He makes attempts at a few other words, but none come through so clear as this.  Closer!  Baby steps.

Z has started doing the “run over into the corner, squat, and shit” thing that I’ve heard so many stories about other children doing.  Happily, he isn’t hiding behind a curtain or something (whose kid was that?)…but he does have to go stand away from you, often in a corner, and squat fiercely.

I’m amused that, even at a young age, he has already grasped the fundamental truth that no sane person likes shitting in close proximity to someone else (or: “why bathroom stalls are TOO SMALL”).

… is that we’re pregnant again!  Of course if you follow both of our blogs, you know this already, because Jen already posted.  So yeah, go us. Woo hoo!  I’m so glad for them (Z & #2) that they will only be 21 months apart.  I wanted them even closer of course, but that’s tough – tough to do and tough on us.  And you know…I have this knowledge/dread that it IS going to be TOUGH…but hey bizillions of other people do it, so we can too.

I am 4.5 years apart from my brother, and I think that’s just too long for the first (or only) two.  It was too long for us to be close *at all*, sure maybe some people do it, but I wanted to give my kids a better chance to be “friends” growing up.

Anyway, if you’re curious about that kind of thing, my guide is posted on the CoH/CoV forums here.

Other than that well…let’s see.

We still haven’t found a house.  The jackass bank on that short sale hasn’t so much as spit on us since we made the offer almost a month ago.

Z has been really restless this week (falling asleep early and waking up more at night, extra cranky in the evenings), I think he’s teething again.  It’s either that or sick, and I hope it’s not sick.

It is FINALLY getting warm up here.  I have a feeling it will get too warm to sleep soon, and that will be fuck awful annoying.  I hate extremes – why does it have to go from shitshitty to toofreakinghot?  Can’t it just be mildly warm.  I love mildly warm, it’s great.  I can sleep in it.

I’m thinking I’ll be going to the MtG Eventide pre-release, possibly all by my lonesome, but I did invite a certain Science Hero who may or may not be involved in non-fued.  I’ll probably blog about it and how badly I lost, but how much fun I had loosing.  July 12th I think.

Z is walking around…have I mentioned that already?  Well, he is and it’s cute as hell.  I’m not sure if anything could be cuter than a baby who’s just learning to walk.  I have a feeling it’s all down here from here (except for a nice bump when he finally learns to say “mommy” and “daddy” and then another one when he says “I love you” and give “real” hugs…that will be sweet).

We’ll be hitting Cali up soon for my Uncle’s wedding, and my family will get to see Z for the first time in hmm 8 months I guess?  Not too long, but a lifetime in baby years.

Then…2 months after that…Maui!!!  Our first ever trip to Hawaii!  We’ve got like… a condo with an “ocean view” here.  Soooo freaking excited.

Onward and inward.

It was very strange, like being woken up by a punch to the face (or the eye/forehead).

He was fine, laughing and playing and spazzing around…but I was not. OWCH.