For instance, consider what you knew at 10, 16, 20 about life, purpose, love – anything nonfactual (although comparing factual knowledge can be fun too!).  Compare that to what you know now.

Cheesy, I know – but I’ve been doing this a lot lately, and it’s amusing at minimum.

Ahem.  Anyway.  So!  I’ve always been somewhat of an evangelist -- but not in the religious sense (although I did go through a phase that could be said to approximate that O.o).  I’ve always been maybe a little too motivated (at least internally) about sharing the music & books that I enjoy with others.   Not so much TV & movies -- I just don’t care enough.  But music and books… those are two things I’m way into.

I’m sure some of it is born of the standard loner desire to have others to actually enjoy your interests with -- people you can shoot the shit with about your favorite bands or books and know they won’t be out in the cold.  But, there’s at least a touch of genuine altruism in there.  If I really enjoy something, I want to share that in the hopes that it will make someone’s day the way it made mine.

NOW.  I couldn’t tell you what the exact breakdown is between the two, but I’d wager it’s pretty close to 50/50. If you’ve known me long I’ve probably tried to turn you on to some band or another, or maybe even a book.  The funny thing is, for all the time invested, I don’t think I’ve succeeded much.  I’ve had the most headway with music I guess, but I can only think of one or two instances where someone has read a book on my recommendation.  I’m not sure that says anything about me so much as I tend to hang out with people with very different reading tastes than myself.  Which does get lonely I admit, moreso than differing tastes in music.

So maybe that’s why I still blog about books and music (and anything I can’t find someone to yak about with really)?  Talking to the air beats talking to nothing, or so I’ve heard.

In light of all this, I decided to make a nice, compressed list of things that I enjoy recommending to folks, just in case anyone ever happens to be open to that kind of thing.  Not complete of course, but a nice cross-section.

Some of these are my “favorite” things to one degree or another, others are just things that I enjoy talking about, or think deserve more exposure.

Books:

The Illuminatus Trilogy -- The only book(s) I still re-read every 18 months or so.   Probably too weird for most people.  If you like weirdness, drugs, sex and a little violence and more weirdness…

The Dune series, particularly if you can make it through to my favorites  -- books 4-6: God Emperor of Dune, Heretics of Dune, and Chapterhouse Dune.  Most sci-fi fans read Dune, but for some reason they stop there.  This baffles me as Dune, really, is not even the strongest book of the series (for me).  It’s the most simple, direct and “sci-fi-ish” though, so maybe that’s what does it.  After that, shit just goes off the rails in a way that a lot of casual sci-fi fans might miss, or be pushed back by.

Atlas Shrugged & The Fountainhead -- The closest thing to classics I will touch.  No, I don’t agree completely with Rand’s Objectivism, but I still find the books enjoyable reading and great conversational fodder (when I’ve recently read them, I forget things FAST).

Night’s Dawn trilogy -- Absolutely brilliant “hard” sci-fi.  The best written in the last 20 years (ie about the bounds of my sci-fi reading lifetime) IMHO.  Just, just brilliant really.  Lot’s of pages, lots of text, so you’ve got to have a love of the long works to enjoy this but man is it worth it.  I’ve re-read these a few times as well.  I’ve bought the entire series maybe 3 times as I’ve moved and lost (then re-found) older copies and even given the entire series to a friend once.  He has not yet read it.  Some “science” hero he is  ;p.

Mistborn trilogy -- One of the best new fantasy series that I’ve had the pleasure of stumbling across.  A far cry from the simplistic lands of Tolkien this series asks a couple of interesting questions: What if the bad guy (Sauron analogue) won?  What if the bad guy winning wasn’t the worst that could have happened?

Serious fantasy fans already have their minds made up about the Wheel of Time series and the Song of Fire and Ice.  I say both are must reads, but the latter may appeal more to non fantasy fans.

Bands:

Starflyer 59 -- The old stuff at least, I can’t really get behind the last 3 or 4 albums.  If you’re reading this post you probably know me (?sadly? in 6 years of blogging I haven’t picked up any non friend/family readers), so you’ve probably heard of and heard these guys.   I’m just putting them here (and at the top) for the sake of completion and history -- them being the first band that made me want to share music with others and all.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=csPEitRRfuM

Gaslight Anthem -- Awesome (but with room to grow) modern rock and roll.  I’ve extolled their virtues on a number of blog posts, so if you haven’t checked them out by now (at least to decide that you don’t like them),  you probably don’t think very highly of my opinion, at minimum.

Airborne Toxic Event -  Another band I’ve pushed a bit on this blog.  A little like the National in genre/sound, but a bit more energetic.

The Crush & Death on Wednesday -- two long defunct bands, both of which I really loved and tried to share with others.  The Crush is alt/punk/rock in the grand Twin Cities tradition and DoW is rockabilly/rock/punk a la nothing quite like it at the time.  Both bands that I think had enough commercial appeal to blow up (but never did), and enough chops and genuine flavor to appeal to the rest.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=WzZwHbxWV28

Elvis Costello -- the early stuff mostly. Hard to try and describe a guy who’s worn so damn many shirts.  His first 4 albums are where most of it is at, although there are many, many later tracks that I love as well -- I just don’t find the complete albums as enjoyable to listen to.  Here’s a video of one of my favorite EC classics.  The video is from the year I was born…. which is crazy.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=3j7JFP6ZOCI

Joe Christmas -- another favorite dead band of mine that never really got any kind of recognition. Sadly, the singer’s later bands well, sucked.

Hum -- Yep, another dead band.   Post shoegazer droney wall of distortiony awesomesauce.  Albums 3 & 4 should be on any alt music aficionado’s shelf (or iPod) IMHO.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTl8HcvYRqg

Morphine -- What is it with dead bands?  Well, not many had a dude playing 2 saxs at once and another on two string slide bass.  Don’t let that scare you off though :).  The saxophonist (?) is only playing one in the vid below, sorry.  Ahh, found one, second vid has the double sax action.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=985JGeGq_tc

www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6naQ195c_k

The National -- NOT a dead band!   A band a certain Science Hero turned me on to that is chock full of awesome nuggets.  Not even sure what to call the sound other than some flavor of indie.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhA9ARZ6pjk

Tiger Army -- Pyschobilly!  Like, faster rockabilly basically.  Except they’ve got a groovy little goth theme going on with songs about beautiful death and violence and the like.  Here’s one of their mellower songs:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=--NyHw8rQ3I

TV on the Radio -- Another not dead band.  One of the pinnacles of alt/indie “rock” at the moment I think, quality and creativeness wise.   Past Arcade Fire imho, by quite a bit.  Not that there’s any reason to compare the two BUT I keep hearing references (still) to AF as “it”.  TVotR is also “it”.  QUITE.

Here’s an older one of theirs:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHrTOQ18yzU

Let’s call that enough for this post.  Hopefully this was interesting to someone.  If you’ve got the time, and you haven’t already formed an opinion about a given band, at least check out the various song videos.  Good for background noise if nothing else.

I don’t know, but this is a damn cheerful sounding song isn’t it?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhhzV5Xv9Tw

OK this post actually has nothing to do with midlife angst, or with how late to the Phoenix party I am (isn’t that song somewhat uplifting sounding?!).

It’s actually about how I’ve “finished” another draft of my first book, my main project, and how I’m not sure what to do with myself in the waiting interim.  Waiting for my beta readers that is.  I’m (mentally) pretty ready for this whole querying process … but you know I kinda want to make sure there’s nothing stupid in there before I get to that point.  Or at least nothing stupid that I didn’t intend.

But while I wait…what to do?  I don’t feel motivated or inspired or whatnot to work on anything else.  I suppose that could be because I’ve been sick for a week now (and the rest of the family as well, it’s been an obnoxious, snotty, week or so).  So hey I figured I’d write a blog post and ramble about crap.  Which I can (and am!) do (doing!).  Done.

No, what, there’s more?

I suppose I could dwell a moment on adult angst.  On the piercing clarity of knowing, of being, of living day in and day out as a parent.  Or the fear that comes with it.  The raw, aching fear that someone out there is waiting to hurt my kids -- intentionally or not.  Hmmm, not a big fan of that.  I’ll swing over towards the joy party instead.  You know, the simple pleasure you take in almost every little thing your kids do?  From the funny way they say a word to the looks on their face when they bonk their heads to the sound of their feet clop-clopping around on the hardwoods to that one “real” hug I get out of them a day -- if I’m lucky. But you know, I’m still lucky.  Very lucky.

There, done.  Life is what it is.  Try and enjoy it.  And don’t be fucktards to each other, people.  Please.

The one good thing to come of it, for me, is the crazy ass dreams I have.

The first/worst night, when I slept on the couch in a shivering huddle, I “woke up” in the middle of the night to the sensation of my body exploding and reforming.  Suddenly everyone could do anything.  I could will myself not to be sick – and it lasted as long as I concentrated.   I could make anything, do anything, but mostly I didn’t because I was still huddled on the couch trying not to be sick.  I was vaguely aware of  everyone else in the world struggling with their newfound abilities as well.  It was very vivid.

Another night I dreamed of these mammoth shipwrecks piled across this lake, and how my dad had a giant ship.  At one point my grandpa & I were watching him swim from the top of a cliff.  Then a polar bear and 3 cubs attacked my dad, swimming below.  We watched him climb the cliff, trying to escape, but the bears climbed as well.  He scaled at least a hundred feet, just about to my grandpa & me – who couldn’t reach over the fence to help him for some reason (dreams) – then the bear smacked him and we watched him fall all the way back down.  Somehow he didn’t smack his head on a rock, and managed to swim down the river to a beach and escape.  I remember the feeling of terror that my dad was about to be eaten by a bear, then the sense of him falling, the sureness that the fall had split his head, then the relief that he was still alive and moving.  Note that my father was very fit in this dream!

Last night… I can’t remember most of it, but it was another waterfront dream.  At some point I was carrying a (heavy) orphan across town to check on some paperwork, then by the time I got back to the beach area (which was having some kind of emergency) I was DEAD tired from carrying this heavy kid around.  I remember a school bus careening off a cliff, I think because whatever the emergency was drove the driver to suicide.   Then these dudes cliff dove from WAY high into the river below to try and save people.  I remember wondering where the news crew (whose office was just down the road) was.

There were more, I’m sure.  And may be even more, as the end of whatever we have still seems a few days off.

Except for that book on the far left (Sorceror’s Apprentice.  I only paid a $1 for it…and may finish it someday), I’m excited about reading the rest.

I’ve got (from left to right):

• the finale to a classic fantasy series – Hammer of the Sun – which I’ve kind of been putting off because it reads a little slow (closer to Tolkien’s style than current fantasy) but I’m still looking forward to the read.
• a new Neal Stephenson – Anathem -  which is pushing high 900s page wise…so I think I’ll hold off on that one.  But, still it’s Neal Stephenson!  And it does sound quite interesting, I’m just as excited about something of that size as I would have been 10 years ago.
• a new fantasy series – His Majesty’s Dragon – which I’ve seen before but… I needed something extra to push me into picking it up.  Jim Butcher (Dresden Files writer) mentioned it as the one current fantasy book people should read…or something like that, so I figured what the hell, I’ll at least try the 1st volume.
• classic fantasy for when I feel like just plowing through something in a few hours – the Elric stuff – this series has been on my list for so long it’s nice to be finally getting to it.  Plus, I’ve read a lot more pulp sci-fi from this era (70s) than I have fantasy, so it’s nice to see the other side of the coin.
• the remaining Dresden Files books – that are available in paperback anyway. There’s another currently in HC, but hopefully by the time I finish this pile it’s available in paperback.  Of course, that will mean the new HC is out and then the waiting starts (finally – ie I’ll be all caught up on the series).
• Some US history – American Colonies & American Slavery, American Freedom – two books I picked up off this list here of books “that would allow an interested but non-expert reader to “understand America.” I’ve been putting off my foray into this country’s history for so long, and I had no idea where to start, so I was quite pleased to find this list…linked from another post elsewhere I’m sure.  I suspect I’ll get to the others eventually as well.
• a science-ish book – The Evolution of God – A book that’s always looked interesting, and been on my list for a while.
• an oddity – Crabgrass Frontiers – a history, I guess.  This was referred somewhere in an interesting blog or comment, I can’t recall.  It’s about Chicago and suburbanization in the US.  Could be interesting….

(Pretend I’m posting this at 6am on Sunday the 3rd).

So.  Yeah, our (mini) epic (for us) road trip has come and gone, and we survived.  Thrived maybe?  Even?  Too much? Yeah, probably.  But we did ok.

We left at about 8:45pm for the trip down & arrived in Sac around 7am I think.  We stopped a few times to feed the little one and cleanse the plumbing, but no meal stops or anything.  I drove to Redding(ish) then Jen took over from there and I tried to pass out in the back seat.  I don’t think the moon was out, because I remember driving in near pitch blackness a lot of the way, and being unable to see most of the scenery (some of which we saw on the way back in the almost full moon light).

The southern half of the 5 in Oregon (miles 170->0ish) are obnoxious to drive.  Up and down, over and over again, ears popping and never quite unpopping, in and out of thick fog banks…hella meh.  But totally doable.

The first hundred fifty or so miles into Cali are kind of annoying too – lots of downhill, some uphill, and not many places to stop.  I’m sure this part of the drive is beautiful in the sunlight though – but we were having none of that!!

The kids did pretty good.  M woke up angry and ate a few times on the way down, but slept really well almost the whole way back – he got upset every time we stopped for gas, but fell back asleep quickly enough.  Z slept most of the way down, after falling asleep late.  On the way back he did the same, but woke up and snacked from 3-4am ish.  He was so out of it, but adorable of course.

For the trip back, we hit the freeway at about 830pm and got home around 5:15am – not bad eh?  Jen drove all the way to uhh… Ashland I think, then I took the last half.  Unfortunately the back of the van was 2x as full as the first trip, so she wasn’t able to sleep back there much.

We got to spend lots of time with pretty much all the family we wanted to see – but more importantly, so did the kids.  Z learned “grandma” and “grandpa” and used them correctly by the time we left – and M even said his first word (which my mom & some other family got to hear, it was very cool).  The boys grew so much in just 10 days it was crazy.  Not physically but, you know, they each picked up noticeable new tricks, mannerisms, vocabulary, whatever.  It was a lot of work wrangling them for all those days, but also quite awesome to have that time to spend with them.

We also got to visit some old friends I hadn’t seen in a decade, and some that we check in on every few years.  We spend a day at the sunny beach… in December.  I miss that part of California, that’s for sure (the weather, duh!) – but not much else.  Driving more than half the length of California twice (not personally, but you know, being in the car, blah blah), the main sense I had was just the sense that I knew this was no longer my home.  I enjoyed it for the things I liked, but didn’t feel particularly drawn to get all misty eyed or anything.

The kids got entirely too many presents, resulting in the aforementioned packed-ass back of the van, and  (I suspect) a thorough re-organization and re-evaluation of their toys & clothes – time to throw stuff out!

What else?  Oh, camera.  Our sweet camera stopped working randomly at my mom’s house.  So we dashed out to grab a new one and wound up with a “Canon Powershot SD950 IS” (I think that’s it, I’ll double check tonight) – basically an updated version of the SD750 that just broke.  I highly recommend it to other Canon lovers (there are at least two that read this blog…) – it’s a worthy replacement and decent upgrade to the SD750.

Oh – the note.  When we stopped briefly to visit some friends in Santa Barbara, someone left a note on our windshield saying we were blocking their driveway.  I really don’t think we were, unless they drive a hummer or something.  I left room.  Whiners!  Whatever, better than a ticket :).

The new van drove great, I thought.  Nothing broke, nothing sounded funny, no fluids ran out, etc.  Although now it’s about 2000 miles overdue on the 3000 mile checkup.  Heh.  Gotta schedule that.

Too much happened to go into much detail, but it was a great trip.  Maybe we’ll even do it again in another two years.   Maybe the kids will be mellow enough to do it in the daytime so we can finally see the scenery.   Then again, maybe we won’t be in Portland by then.

One can dream.

[edit 1: Speaking of, here's my favorite photo from the trip, click to embiggen.]

[edit 2:  Yeesh. 967 miles from Portland to Santa Barbara, says this map.]

Sooo…if you put leaves of lettuce/spinach/etc. in tupperware (etc.) in between two damp paper towels… it lasts longer.

As in, normally we’d go through half a bag of spinach in a week, and throw out the rest.  But now, I put half in the tupperware, go through the half bag, then go through the leaves in the tupperware.

Yay for being old!

ANYWAY.  So my friend, we’ll call him “asshole #2″ for now (me being #1) – who doesn’t read this blog (but if he does, hi Andy!), tells me “Oh, everyone knows that.”   But I didn’t.

So, just in case you didn’t know this, now you do, and now you can act all in the know whenever people talk about this stuff.

Because it’s important dammit.

The season has slipped back into obnoxious up here in the Portland of the West (I’m not talking to you Portland, Maine!).  Freezing wind (not literally, yet), cold nights, and RAIN.  RAIN.  Yes, someday we will move and leave you far behind.   New Mexico?  Hawaii?  New England somewheresabouts?  Somewhere!  All we need is that perfect moneymaking job!  Like… being a writer.  That totally pays about $40k a year if you luck out and bust your ass.  Wait.  That’s not that much at all.  Doh!

…

There are no movies that look interesting to me because a) I rarely watch trailers and b) when would we have the time?  I suppose I should start netflixing all the stuff I’ve missed this year….right?  American Pie 12 here I come!

…

Marvel announced at least three big events so far for next year: Second Coming (X-Men event), DoomWar (seems Black Panther centric, but has X-men & FF members &…Deadpool.  Kay!),  and Siege – the final “ending” of the Dark Reign stuff and return to semi-normalcy with Cap/Thor/Iron Man Avengering around together again.

…

Books.  Books.  I haven’t read anything in a while.  I’m slowly working my way through a book of interviews with Michael Moorcock.  He’s been known to write a book in ?3? days I think it was.  Fucknutty!  Somehow I’ve made it to date without reading a single one of his books.  Cardinal sin, I KNOW.  I should be able to find some in old school paperback pretty cheap though, maybe I’ll do that after I finish (and start…) Name of the Wind.  I’m so afraid it will suck I haven’t touched it yet.

…

I haven’t tried to watch a single episode of Heroes since my failure to complete the first one.  Jen seems to be enjoying Flashforward though, and it seems moderately interesting.   I think, if it doesn’t go the way of X-Files/Lost?/Heroes etc. (ie dragging out the initial premise to Herculean lengths, then never resolving it satisfactorily because you’ve inserted so much bullhsit in there in the attempt to stretch it out to 7+ seasons) it sounds like it could be decent.  We had a conversation about the different things we’re willing to invest in a TV show – I’m much less willing to start watching any kind of ongoing show these days because I lack the confidence that TV writers have the balls to end something.  If a story is only meant to run 1-2 seasons, that’s all it should run!!  But, of course that runs completely counter to TV programming-think.

…

Nothing particularly new to me in the world of music.  I think I may like She & Him.  Still trying to decide. I like some of the songs, but I need to hear the whole album and I’m reticent to buy it without hearing the entire thing first.  I do dig the retro-50s vocal thing she’s doing though.  I like the sound, but not so much in its original context – amusing, yes?

I’m debating ordering Dear Leader‘s now album – it’s ex-Sheila Divine frontman Aaron Perrino’s current project.   They were a great band that I think was just hitting their stride when they vanished so hey, good luck with reincarnation.

I heard a rumor that Jawbox was going to be on some douchebag’s late night show.  That guy from SNL who couldn’t keep a straight face to save his life.  Can’t remember his name for some reason.  Crazy.

The Monsters of Folk album is ok.  Not ok enough for me to rush out and buy it, but ok.

…

Z has a selection of chorus lines he says now when he’s in the mood, inevitably going from one to the other.  “Beating like a hammer” (Metric), “It’s cold outside”, (classics), “hit the road jack/don’t come back no more” & a few others I’m brain farting on right now.  He usually knows 1-2 extra lines of the songs as well.  It’s freaking adorable.  He’s starting to get a little bit of melody going too.

…

I’m in one of those “everything bores me” phases right now, hoping it will end soon.   Could just be the seasonal doldrums.

So I should post something.  Right.  Because we’re all here for the digits yo.  Even if they be singles.

So, what’s going on lately?

Well, right now I’m annoyed that there isn’t an RSAT tool for Windows 7 RC, only RTM (how am I supposed to test it then, HUH?).  But this will pass.

I’m also annoyed that I can’t avoid the Kanye West BS.  MTV is crying tears of gold over that crap, seriously.  I bet they sent him a check afterward.  It will drive the netplays and such of their idiotic, still on the air, non-reality based “music” awards show through the middle of the room.  But still – who cares really?

Here’s what I don’t get – since when do people take the MTV awards seriously?  I mean.  Kanye – was it really that important?  Really?  Doesn’t Beyonce have enough shiny shit already?  Can’t you see that MTV is just trying to woo an audience they’ve traditionally not had any access to in a desperate grab for some marketshare as they plod blindly into obsolescence?   Oh, and WHEN WERE THE MTV (ANYTHING) AWARDS EVER ABOUT QUALITY? K?  So shut the hell up, please.  Seriously, it’s goddamn MTV people.  MTV.  M. T. V.  This is like, oh, I don’t know, whichever kid from 7th Heaven turns out to be gay crying about an ABC Family award a decade from now.  OK, not really.  But kind of.

My wife continues to be lovely, my marriage continues to grow.  It’s only been 6 years, but it feels like so much less and so much more at the same time.

My children continue to amaze me daily.  I’ll refrain from gushing, because you can fill in the blanks if you have kids.  And if you don’t you won’t care to listen.

We’re trying to buy a mini van.  A decent one.   And trade in our current car – which is worth half what we owe on it!  We’ll make it work, somehow.  Yes, I’m actually excited about getting a mini-van.  Maybe more than I should be – but I’m big, and squeezing into the back of our car in between two car seats and Shiva knows how much kid crap is painful, yet needs to be done.  Among other things that necessitate a desire for spacious driving.  Like a road trip.  Or several.

My beta readers are taking forever to finish my book, but I understand this.  Reading stuff on a computer sucks, and I’m too cheap to print & mail hundreds of pages.  They’ll finish eventually, then I’m sure I’ll be wishing they hadn’t, because I’ll have a shitload of editing to do OR I’ll just have to abandon the book (and by extension the 6-7 book series I’ve already plotted).

I DO have an idea for a new book/series finally.  I apparently can’t come up with a stand alone book plot.  Everything leads to something else.   I was raised on epic fantasy and sci-fi – what do you expect?

Heroes starts up again next week.  Yeah, I’m going to watch it.  *said sheepishly*  Maybe it will be above average, or maybe bad enough to drive me away forever.  Who knows?  My bet is on just middle of the road to keep me  watching it while doing something else more interesting on another screen.

Why?  Because my cutter broke, and I haven’t gotten around to getting a new one yet – I’ve been having horrible luck with the cheap ones, and the expensive ones are too expensive.  So there’s this place over in Kenton that advertises “7 bucks a wack”…wait, that’s actually its name.  Except that the proprietress answers the phone with “Barber shop!”, so what’s in a name anyway?

Pssst, that it on the left.  And Jen’s arm, which is pretty cool too.

What was the other thing?  Oh, I bought a pair of shoes from Nordstrom.  Not Nordstrom “Rack”, and not on sale.  See, I have fat feet.  And it’s fucknoxious, because almost no one makes shoes for “wide” feet, until you get into the expensive crap.  So, for my life up until this point, I’ve always just bought shoes a size or so too big (I’m a 10.5-11 “W”, I’ve word 11.5-12.5 most of my life).  Which works for the most part, but you know, they never fit quite right.  And my big fat obnoxious right foot wears through the edge of the shoe.  I have a nice callous that’s built up over the years from that; it’s kind of gross.  I tried to get rid of it once, with that callous melting stuff, and it grew right back, because shoes don’t fit me quite right.

So where was I?  Oh yeah, I bought some nice shoes, actually sized “10.5 W”, because I’ve worn through both my work shoes (and both my home shoes, but I’m going to hang on to my sandals for another week at least, then try and figure out what to do about “casual” shoes later…evidently “New <something>” makes casual shoes in wide sizes but, wait for it…they cost $134!! I paid $100 last time for TWO pairs of casual shoes, I think spending that much might give me a heart attack).  Wow, that was a long parenthetical, I forgot where the original sentence was going.  Oh, yeah, so I’m half set for work.  But they’ll do for 100% for now since uh, black matches everything right?  They may be a little bit “dressy”, but they were the most comfortable, and relatively affordable, so they win.