So this arc has the tagline SECOND COMING * REVELATIONS… I get the tie in part – the anti-mutant forces attacking pretty much every mutant left, simultaneously -  that works.  What I don’t get is the REVELATIONS bit.  What is there to reveal?   Peter David is big on long boiling revelations… hmm, let’s check the solicits.

Next month:

The mutant hunter Bastion has sent the Mutant Response Division and the newly resurrected Bolivar Trask after X-Factor with one mission: Kill them all. And it seems thus far that all is going according to plan. Meanwhile in the jungles of South America, Strong Guy has to form an extremely unlikely alliance if he wants to save Monet from the MRD.

June:

At last! All the members of X-Factor are reunited in this climactic, slam-bang X-plosion of a conclusion as Trask decides to take matters into his own hands and personally direct the forces of the Mutant Response Division into a full blown war against everyone’s favorite mutant detective team!

Huh.  No clues at all.  Not even a tease of a giant revelation (which Marvel tends to do, especially for this book… see July‘s solicitation blurb:

Remember when we warned you about the shocking twist involving Madrox’s baby? Remember when the return of Shatterstar wound up making every comics-related website? Well, that was just a warm-up for the shocking end of this issue. X-Factor gets a new client, a tall green-garbed woman with a deadly secret, but that’s just a set-up for the jaw-dropping final page that’s going to reignite the Internet and have fandom going, “Did you BELIEVE what happened at the end of X-Factor #207?!”

Yeah so.  You got me.  Normally, I would guess that the marketing folks just thought it sounded cool… but X-Factor is usually running a different course… soooo.  Something.

X-Men Legacy 235: Second Coming pt 4: The X-event continues!  People die (a d-list character who did actually feature in a favorite, 8 issue, limited series of mine.  From the 80s.), people get shaken around without their leg (Karma! OUCH.  Somewhere I read that she was getting some kind of a big overhaul… so uh, bionic leg I guess?, the X-Men finally get a clue and start fighting back, and Warlock goes uh… Warlockian.

Still no clues as to what the hell is going on with Hope, although I think it should be pretty obvious from, oh, the solicits for the X-MEN PHOENIX FORCE HANDBOOK (A Second Coming tie-in!).  How the hell is one of their stock reference books being billed as a tie-in?  The hell?  There is NO STORY in those things.  Usually?

Oh, and Greg Land, my favorite “artist” pulled “art” duties for this one.  And it was probably the least offensive thing I can remember seeing by him.  Yes, all the women had the same faces (I didn’t realize X-23 was in the issue until I saw Rogue with her powers later on… I thought she was Psylocke the whole time!).  Yes, there was a near-full page spread of Rogue standing with weird tiny-wings and splayed legs, ready to receive it in the backside and yes I swear that every time I saw a male face I could almost recognize which celebrity he was tracing and  yes, yes it did suck.  But it was slightly less sucky than other issues.  Maybe because I read it really fast, in the car?  Going back through it now I’m finding more and more stupidity…  You know what?  When he’s not drawing faces it’s pretty OK.  As soon as the faces come out it’s ARGOEGUHUHBOOM.  There is a great page with Warlock that I swear is actually another artist.  Oh.  Maybe he just traced that… O.O

Note: The cover at left is not the one I got.  For some reason I can’t find an image on the net (yet) of the non-variant cover.  WTF?

Guardians of the Galaxy 25:  Another strong issue – and the art was great too!  Except for a few panels where someone is drawn getting clearly atomized, yet no one gets atomized?  All the bystanders are dead… so?

So yeah.  Thanos is back.  And he’s pissed.  The one guy that actually wants to stay dead, and Magus had to go and be a dick and bring him back…  We get to see Thanos unloading physically like we haven’t in quite a while, but Quill has one trick up his sleeve… and it’s a hell of a trick.

I think the title is going on hiatus for a few months now.  Or something?  While the next cosmic event – I think it’s the Cancerverse (think a Marvel U where Cthulu-esque things won) vs. 616 – called THE THANOS IMPERATIVE (which doesn’t have the word “cancer” in it) – runs.  Which is kind of a bummer and kind of cool at the same time, because I won’t be spending any extra money to pick up the event.  I guess.

Oh, and I’ll leave you with a cover that I found particularly amusing.  Because, seriously, what the hell is going on with her belt?  Skirt?  Weird underwear?

Guardians of the Galaxy 16: Still good.  Not an over the top awesome issue, but it does have a good cameo by the old Guardians, if you’re into that kind of thing.  Not much else to say.

Project Superpowers v? 1: Was kind of interesting.  They are sure throwing stuff out there fast and furious.  If I was young, and felt like getting involved in a new hero universe, this would be worth picking up.  But I’m not.

Power Girl x: She doesn’t need a comic book, really.  This is grasping.  Superman has like 4 already, and Supergirl has one, and she is already in Justice Society.  She’s just not that interesting.  Is it sad when a character’s defining characteristic is her cleavage?  I mean, don’t get me wrong, I actually find it very interesting that hey, here is a character who is actually supposed to have giant breasts, and it’s addressed frequently over the years – as opposed to every other comic female who is just drawn with giant breasts.  Where was I?  Oh yeah, pointless.

Outsiders 20: This book has gotten boring.  *yawn* Just don’t care anymore.

Avengers Initiative 26: So glad the quality level of this book is holding on.  It’s worth the $3 or whatever it is these days (I try not to look, it just makes me sad ;) ).  Mostly because the New Warriors are in it, without them I would drop it like a rock.  I really just don’t care about ANYTHING Osborne is doing, can’t wait for him to die again.

Runaways 3 12: Speaking of how the mighty have fallen (see Hulk above)… ok it’s not that bad.  But what the hell is going on here?  Runaways 3 has been weaksauce in general, but this latest arc is weaksauce covered in stupidpepper.

Fantastic Four 569: Gorgeous art can’t save Millar’s horrible writing.  While he’s not on the low-level of someone like Loeb, he’s still a hack in the sense that most of what he writes seems to simply be:  “ooo look a shiny thing!” , where the shiny thing is anything shocking.  This issue was almost as poorly written as 600 in the sense of things just popping up out of nowhere.  I honestly couldn’t tell which FF was the main one at several points.  Oh – and if we are to believe those were really alternate FFs…wait, I don’t believe that for a second, unless they were like, the suckiest of the sucky FFs or something – hundreds of them couldn’t even take the 616 FF?  All this for, as someone said “an upgrade” for Doom?  Didn’t he just get one on Waid’s run, and then again later…?  Meh.

Skaar/Son of Hulk 13: So Hulk has TWO kids now?  Don’t get me wrong, it’s not an out-of-ass popping moment, and fits with the flow of the series (I wondered how it was going to keep going with this title…I have a feeling it won’t last much longer if it keeps going in this direction though) – but I don’t get how it makes sense in terms of the pre-existing STORY.  Skaar was older because he aged super fast – this other kid did too?  And, you know, I’d think Caiera would have remembered having a second child, especially with her abilities.

Marvel Zombies 4 04: Not horrible, but not good.

War of Kings: Ascension 04: It certainly does leave Darkhawk in an interesting place … one kid, not guilty of a huge crime, on the run from the universe & the good guys… still not interesting enough for an ongoing, but he will make a good occasional guest star.  Cosmic Marvel has room for a “power armor guy” too, more than “Earthbound” Marvel, so moving him out was a smart play.

War of Kings 06:  A fittingly pyrrhic ending to such a series.  I’m not disappointed, and will be picking it up in trade.  Some interesting things came out of it,  one of them the (hopefully final) death of Vulcan, Marvel’s to DC’s Superboy Prime as far as petty annoyance goes.  Hopefully that sticks, nevermind that how he healed himself didn’t make any sens.  More important deaths include Lilandra’s from last ish – while always a support character, she filled a huge role and will be missed – and Black Bolt.  It will be interesting to see where the Inhumans go with a potentially reformed Maximus, Medusa will lead I guess?  Gladiator as the majestor will be interesting, and really is a logical and fitting choice: his life’s purpose is to serve the imperium, and how better to do that?  Looking forward to the fall out from this one.

Ultimatum 6 & the Requiem Books: The Spider-Man Requiem book was always going to be pointless, as he’s not dead (and revealed to be so at the end), but it was good just in the way JJJ FINALLY turned a new leaf.  Now there’s some “Ultimate” change for you :P.  Then again, maybe now he can rail against the “new” Spider-Man for not living up to the old one….

The X-Men one was just sad, as they took the brunt of the death toll.  So many characters with so much potential, dead.  I wasn’t a fan of Ult. Night Crawler, but the young kids – Cannonball & Sunspot, they died off camera, such a waste.  Frost & Xavier & Magneto all down – so nothing left of the “old guard” of mutants (not counting the weird Nick Fury/man-made mutants thing), and nowhere to go but…up?  I think they’ll be joining the Avengers now.  Cyclops dead instead of Jean is a switch, I guess, finally.  Too little too late though, imho.  At least Rogue has some permanent powers now, I’m not sure why.  I guess Juggernaut died off camera too.  Huh?  I’m guessing Sabretooth didn’t die here, but the might as well just wipe him too.

Ultimatum itself was just as poorly written in the finale as it was in every other issue.  Generally sub-par all around.  Perfect example of Jeph Loeb at his “best”.

The major moment from FF Requiem wasn’t even in the book..I think it was in Ultimatum 6??  That would be Ben’s crushing of Doom’s skull (and what happened to Namor?).  Was it that easy, really?  The rest of the book, meh, whatever.  They’re all still alive, so they will be back.  Nothing new to see here.

So, in the end it took the Ultimate universe what, 10 years to get to a place as different from 616 as it should have been to start, and they had to resort to Jeph Loeb to get there.   I don’t think he’s writing anything else there for a while, so I’m hoping it can only go up.

Iron Fist 27: Yes, Danny Rand/Iron Fist will also be a father soon, following in his perennial buddy, Luke Cage/Power Man’s footsteps.  Also of note, and implied by my goofy title, is that the mother of said child (and soon to be wife of Danny) is Misty Knight.  Now.  This is comics.  So her or the baby could go kaput or turn into an alien at any time, for no good reason BUT, luckily no one else seems to care about writing Misty at the moment – so I think they are safe!

Also, this was the final issue of Immortal Fist.  Such a shame, it’s been a great series so far and deserved more than it got (much like Captain Britain & MI13).

X-Factor 45: Answers a question asked by only the most diligent fanfolk (ok, that’s still a lot): were Rictor and Shatterstar together?  Beyond that, the ongoing arcs continue in interesting ways, and things start to come together.

Astonishing X-Men 30:  Something happened here. Forge “died” I think, in a really strange and silly ending that I don’t think anyone saw coming to a story that started looking like something out of 90s Claremont’s and wound up 90s Ennis.  Not bad, but not particularly good, and I think Ellis can do better.

Apparently the entire point of Avengers-Invanders was to resurrect Toro, who no one cares about.  Or the original Human Torch, one of them.  DUMB.  Leading into the new Human Torch mini coming out later this year I’m sure.  The ending was rather horrid – but how else are you going to end a story where the bad guy is omnipotent?

Whatever the current Messiah Mini Event is finally ended a recent issue of X-Force or Cable.  It was actually decent, except that in the end it didn’t mean anything.  Except that Dom killed Kiden in the future.  That’s basically it.  Fun.  Curious to see how X-F will pick up the pieces of Boom-Boom now though.  Shame, she was wonderful with the right writers.  Go NEXTWAVE!

A bunch of Dark Reign minis came out.  They’re all pretty stupid.  The Lethal Legion thing may stir up some interest with the Wonder Man in jail angle though… that last panel was a little creepy.

Daken has taken over Wolverine‘s title, which is good because there was too damn much of one Wolverine – thankfully now we have 3 separate Wolverine’s to spread around.  !?

Now Wolverine’s “main” book is the Weapon X one – doing stuff that would have been in the normal Wolverine book so uh, whatever.  !?

Guardians of the Galaxy 15 was good and ended pretty much the only way it could (on the War of Kings angle), although still somewhat surprisingly.  And I hear the “old” Guardians are returning… that actually makes me very vary.  I think I’ll drop the book if it becomes about them.  Their time is over.  Vance I can take, but the others… meh, they work in the future, not in the past.  For me anyway.

I skimmed through Transformers: All Hail Megatron – it seems pretty decently written, if you’ve got a Transformers itch that the movie just didn’t scratch (which is understandable, as it was mostly trying to scratch your scrotum).

I can see how it’s necessary to further the plot and all, but there was way too much boredom in there.  I mean, it was funny, and there was random action, but it almost felt like a different writer.

Young X-Men 10 – I figured I’d pick up the last 3 issues…just because I’ve got every other damn issue of the various New Mutant incarnations.  It’s nice that the cover remembers that Sunspot can fly – I don’t think any other part of the series does.  Then again, maybe he flew in that stupid fight against the tattoodorks, I wasn’t paying that much attention.

Young X-Men 11 – What the hell happened here?  The phoenix tattoo thing only gets more retarded, the new characters continue to have no character and the random-ass future sideplot has me curious how they are going to wrap up this trainwreck of a series in a single issue

…certainly better than New Exiles 18 right?  What the hell.  We already know Psylocke is coming back, and none of the current crop of Exiles are in the next series.   So.  Uh?  Shouldn’t there be some kind of a set up starting?

Uncanny X-Men 506 – All around average.  The refugee thing is an interesting angle (were the whores really ex-mutants or did Colossus just make that up – I can’t remember the last issue set up for this arc), and the X-Science squad is at least an interesting thought (complete with two random/mostly made up brand new probably pointless characters!) – although every issue that Warren doesn’t have some kind of Arcangel incident just makes it less and less interesting/believeable.

X-Force 11 – Villain background.  Meh. These issues should be half price.  To some degree necessary but still tedious.  I don’t get why he had to dig the up apaches though – that’s fucktarded!

New Avengers 49 – Interesting to see Cage just fucking with Norman.  Glad.

What was the error in Mighty Avengers 21? I got a free copy with the error repaired, whatever that means.  Not feeling it yet. I adored Slott’s Initiative, but I’m just not feeling this and

I’m sorely missing him on Avengers Initiative 21.  Decent, but not the awesomeness it was.

Captain Britain & MI13 10 – A “downtime issue” with Dracula cranking up the heat in the background.  Definitely a slow down, but somewhat necessary.  Still good.  Hoping Blade ditches the head tattoos (I guess his hand grew back??) and I really, really hope that what they imply happened at the end didn’t happen.  Because that is just harsh.

X-Men Legacy 221 – Too slow!  Stuff is happening but it’s SLOW.  Why are the Shi’ar here?  Dumb.  Sorry Mike, I love your stuff but this is weak.

Yes I only pick up comics once a month or so…so there’s a big stack.

Avengers: Initiative 15:  I love this title.  We get a solidifying of Crusader’s status (although he royally fucked up by driving 3D off…) and some Gauntlet action.  Please don’t cancel this book Marvel.  I think I forgot what happened to Rhodey though…need to go back and read a few issues.

New Avengers 43: Another Skrull over-brainwashed a la Captain Marvel, but this one doesn’t end so well.  Or perhaps he wasn’t over-brainwashed, just over-killed before his un-programming kicked in.  Either way it was an interesting read that occupied all of 4 minutes of “Marvel Time” in between SI 3 & 4 or 4 & 5 (forgot to check).

Mighty Avengers 16: How I Became a Skrull, by Electra.  Moderately interesting, not horrible or great.  Even badasses can be taken out by multiple shapeshifters…although frankly it probably shouldn’t have taken that many.

Thunderbolts 122: I totally forgot what happened last month…I think it was the end of that whole mental jailbreak thing and Ellis’ arc.  This one picks up where the Captain Marvel mini ends, and starts off a new writer’s run.   It’s off to a good start, I guess.  If you like this new, super-bitchy version of the T-Bolts.  Which I don’t.  But I’m a zombie I know…just hoping for them to somehow get Fabian or Buseik back on it someday and remove the suckometer from its ass.

Captain Britain & MI13 3: You knew Cap B was coming back…so this is just the obvious, but it’s still good reading.  I can’t figure out what the hell the new girl’s powers are…some kind of wonky tk?  The new costume doesn’t look nearly as cool as it should with all those flags flying around either.  Storywise, good read and worth your money.

Guardians of the Galaxy 3: I’m really enjoying this series and dying to know what the deal with Vance & Starhawk is. I love the Vance-Cap/Guardians-Avengers parallel they set up with the whole ice bit.  Awesomesauce.  I really wish it wouldn’t get dragged into the Skrull thing, but we’ll just see how that goes, maybe it won’t suck.

Secret Invasion 4: Good stuff.  I forgot to buy 3 though.  Doh.

New Warriors 14: The inevitable, arbirtary Nu Warriors vs. New Warriors brawl begins.  Still, the Skrull going ons do make for a nice backdrop & excuse.

Astonishing X-Men 25: Much better story than the last book I read involving Wolverine & Bianchi.

Cable 5: I guess this arc’s over.  I still don’t care.  Don’t get me wrong, I actually like the premise of the story, but the whole Bishop-as-a-badguy thing still comes off as stupid to me.  I mean, it’s sort of believable in the sense of his backstory, but still stupid in the sense that he never once mentioned this child/person before?  I’m guessing it’s because that was retroactively inserted into his history when history was changed by the prof not dying?  Whatever, don’t care.  Although it has been a while since a good “hero gone bad” story so MAYBE this whole thread has wings.

New eXiles 8:  Stuff happens here I guess. I’ve been bored with Exiles lately; the new characters just aren’t interesting enough, and that last issue (or the one before??) had ABOMINABLE art. fug fug fugly.  This one looks nice at least, and the expected Psylocke plot is chugging along.   I hope we get some actual info on Mystiq…he’s moderately interesting.  New Gambit?  With Sue’s force bubbles?…almost interesting but nah.

Uncanny X-Men 500: God I hate Greg Land’s “art”.  If I wanted my comics to look like goddam cheesecake-Maxim-softcoreporn-bullshit I’d buy something else.  Storywise it’s…well, it’s a hell of a throwback with Mags retconning himself again and hanging out with the High Evolutionary.  Which may actually make a lot of sense considering what’s happened but STILL…we get a revamped Hellfire Cult, “SIster”hood of Evil Mutants AND you bring in a High Evolutionary + Magneto team up in the same issue that you claim is all about “moving forward”?  OK…the last time the title actually tried to move forward was, believe it or not, Claremont’s relaunch after that whole stupid 1 year later thing.  Which could have actually been cool if they let him run with it….but whatever.  Anyway, it’s not a bad story at all, just not what they are claiming.  Yet.

Also, I really hope ArcAngel isn’t back to Angel already. So. Lame.

X-Factor 33 & She Hulk 31: The art in X-F is fucking horrible and makes the issue hard to like.  It mucks with everything.  I don’t think I can make an unbiased judegement.  Although I will say that Darwin is being written like a talky moron…which doesn’t seem like how I remember him from Brubaker’s writing.  Surprisingly I prefer the old version.

X-Force 5: Kinda silly…and evidently Angel’s changes are somehow undone by Uncanny 500 (I’m guessing that’s what his sidebar reference was to???), so I really don’t care – that was the only thing I was really looking forward to from this arc was Arcangel’s return.  Pun intended.  Sort of.

X-Men Legacy 214: Evidently this is getting another title change after the next arc? Hmmmm.  Still, a good story and another old X-villain gets a very modern update this month.  I’m curious about the Wolverine crossover…not going to make me buy Origins again though.  Curious how they’ll package that trade.  Trade’s don’t always play well with crossovers.

Young X-Men 4:  Something about Cypher in issue 5? Umm…ok?  But seriously, FINISH THIS SHIT ALREADY. This arc is tired and stupid.  So is the tattoo guy.  Dumb dumb and probably too powerful by far.  Imagine if he hung out with that chic that popped up in X-Treme who could make tattoos….