[UPDATE/EDIT: Thread over at Bleeding Cool with a list of the fates of various non-white superheroes and discussion.  I didn't realize the Hawk-douches were supposed to be (partially) non-white.  Or Kyle Raynor...]

Oh, right, Marvel just did that too in Amazing Spider-Man 631… the kid killing that is.  Yes, the Lizard ate his own kid… to show that yes, he really is the Lizard now.  And only the Lizard!  Until another writer changes his mind.  Remember kids (and writers!): comics!

Siege 4 was really bad/dumb/BlackestNight8ish.  It’s like both writers thought of the stupidest possible solution with the least satisfying resolution and went with that.  Also, I could have sworn I read in an interview somewhere that the green on Osborne’s face was supposed to be symbolic… yet it was fucking everywhere in this issue, and someone even commented on it??  The whole power-up->1 panel->Loki dies->throwing a ship can hurt the Sentry->now Thor can knock him out->STFU COMIC!

Ugh.  Ugh.  C’mon Bendis, we KNOW IN CAPITAL LETTERS that you can do better than this.  This was like an after noon of engaging foreplay only to prematurely splatter in your partner’s nose while trying to suppress it resulting in an ejaculation with no orgasm:  no one’s satisfied, and at least one party is probably pissed.

Waitamminit!   Did Loeb ghostwrite this?  Shit :  ANSWER!

Speaking of Loeb – the Red Hulk/Red She-Hulk identity reveals should surprise absolutely no one.  Even though they went out of their way to basically break the chain of clues by having the Red Hulk in a scene with his alter-ego at one point (which I think is an incredibly cheap way to throw off suspicion)… still it was fairly obvious I think.  So yeah, that’s out of the way.  Yay.  Now maybe after this latest round of Hulk event stuff pans out we can get some more Pak-driven stuff.  Sure, I know he’s on board for this stuff (and his issues tend to be better written than Loeb’s)… but there is a huge difference in style and quality between this and the wonderful Pak-driven Hulk stuff from 2-3 years ago.

The way the Constrictor/Diamondback thing fell part in the last issue of Avengers:Initiative (35) was so incredibly, depressingly cliche.  I mean, could they not get a break?  Really?  Would it be that hard to leave them together?  It’s not like anyone else is going to use them for the next couple of years…

The bit with Maxwell Lord and the bleeding nose?  Always?  Oh look he’s got a giant bleeding nose in a giant tub of ice… *yawn*

Did they really go to all the trouble with the bottle city and giving Kryptonians a planet again and like two years worth of story arcs in 3-4 books just to KILL THEM ALL?  I mean, is that where this is headed? *yawn*

Dumbest Marvel retcon in recent memory: The Sentry slept with Rogue.  Because yeah, that TOTALLY makes sense.  Although, I guess if she magically “forgot” she slept with him since everyone forgot he existed then yeah, sure maybe decades of X-Men stories about her emotional fragility and inability to have contact with anyone (possibly culminating in finally getting with Gambit during a power loss period?  Hell, I don’t even remember) make sense… but still, it was cheap and stupid imho.  A much longer and more eloquent commentary HERE with follow-up HERE and note from Mike Carey (who has been doing great work with Rogue for the last few years on his X-Men title).

Astonishing X-Men: Xerogenesis was pretty bad too.  Not liking the bizarre art with uber sex-toy Emma (even more than usual, trust me – the artist actually draws in weird, visible, hand-sized circular nipple pad things that stick out from her ludicrously tight top… do real people wear these??) and strangely deformed everyone else (mostly the women, see above).  Also… there really is no place in continuity for this.  Why?  Because a) Beast is still with them (PAST) and Storm has a new haircut (FUTURE).  So yeah, pointless, skippable title.  Yay!  I’m so glad they moved this to limited series because now my inner compulsive will let me happily skip it.

There’s been some good stuff lately too (the current X-men event, Pak’s Amadeus Cho stuff) but I just felt like being negative for this post… maybe getting my “Dark Onefinemess” out of the way so I can move peacefully into the Heroic Age of Pullbox Commentary. (TM).  Or something

Spider-Man 625 – Who didn’t see that coming?  Seriously.  It was well written but predictable and had the blatantly dubious honor of ending pretty much exactly where you thought things were already ended.  Oh, except that now it’s personal for Rhino.  Maybe the point was to get another “failure” into Spidey’s belt?  I dunno, compared to everything else he has not failed at, this was just dumb.

Cinderella – From Fabletown with Love – Finally checked in on this series.  Good fun.  I’ll pick it up in trades.

Dark Avengers 15 – Finally, Bullseye kills someone?  No?  He always does that?  Oh.  Well, uh, I dunno, stuff happens.  More stuff to make the Sentry more dangerous.  Why would Osborn get rid of Lindy when he knew she was one of the only things keeping the Sentry in check?  Back up plans are always a good idea.

Green Arrow 31 – Dumb.  Green Arrow, as a concept, has always seemed stupid.  Guy using bow & arrow in the days of fully automatic laser blasto guns?  Dumb.  Guy using arrows NOT to kill people?  Dumber.  So nothing that happens here, dumb as it may be, changes my opinion of the character.

SWORD 5 – Shame this series had to end, it was really quite good.

Green Lantern Corps 46 - Not sure how wise bringing the fridge into this was.  It seems kind of insensitive in general, given how generally offensive the original act was.  The Star Trek references and the rings working together was fun though.  But then in the end they killed the Anti-Monitor in half an issue?  I mean, I GET how powerful a gathering of lanterns that size would be BUT umm.  It’s the Anti-Monitor guys.

Siege 03 – Performs as expected, with no real surprises. I suppose next issue will have all those.  I have to wonder if Bendis is going to clear the playing field of the Sentry too, removing the only two characters from Dark Avengers that managed to become more interesting than they were before he picked them up. What I mean to say is, he did some interesting things with them and it would be a shame to see all that thrown out.  Not that I’d miss the Sentry spectacularly, but Ares in particular has become a nice three dimensional character as of late.  Art was great.

Titans 23 - This series is still going.  I think it might finally be over though.

X-23 One Shot – Wow was the art horrible here.  The story was quite decent, with some potentially interesting additions to continuity, and the mental sequences I could buy but damn was the rest ugly, especially given the great cover.  It was good to see the NYX gang again, but a shame they looked so horrible.  OH AND WHY DIDN’T X BRING THEM BACK TO UTOPIA?? WTF?!??  Her old friends are living on rooftops eating trash and she’s not even going to invite them for some food??  Yeah.  Because look, we know editorial wants to keep those kids homeless for story reasons, but it makes NO GODDAMN SENSE.

Incredible Hulk 608 – Yeah, I don’t know what’s going on anymore, and I’m not sure that I care.  I feel like I missed a thing or three.  I’m blaming this all on Loeb and hope we come out Loeb-less on the other side of World War Hulks.

The season has slipped back into obnoxious up here in the Portland of the West (I’m not talking to you Portland, Maine!).  Freezing wind (not literally, yet), cold nights, and RAIN.  RAIN.  Yes, someday we will move and leave you far behind.   New Mexico?  Hawaii?  New England somewheresabouts?  Somewhere!  All we need is that perfect moneymaking job!  Like… being a writer.  That totally pays about $40k a year if you luck out and bust your ass.  Wait.  That’s not that much at all.  Doh!

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There are no movies that look interesting to me because a) I rarely watch trailers and b) when would we have the time?  I suppose I should start netflixing all the stuff I’ve missed this year….right?  American Pie 12 here I come!

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Marvel announced at least three big events so far for next year: Second Coming (X-Men event), DoomWar (seems Black Panther centric, but has X-men & FF members &…Deadpool.  Kay!),  and Siege – the final “ending” of the Dark Reign stuff and return to semi-normalcy with Cap/Thor/Iron Man Avengering around together again.

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Books.  Books.  I haven’t read anything in a while.  I’m slowly working my way through a book of interviews with Michael Moorcock.  He’s been known to write a book in ?3? days I think it was.  Fucknutty!  Somehow I’ve made it to date without reading a single one of his books.  Cardinal sin, I KNOW.  I should be able to find some in old school paperback pretty cheap though, maybe I’ll do that after I finish (and start…) Name of the Wind.  I’m so afraid it will suck I haven’t touched it yet.

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I haven’t tried to watch a single episode of Heroes since my failure to complete the first one.  Jen seems to be enjoying Flashforward though, and it seems moderately interesting.   I think, if it doesn’t go the way of X-Files/Lost?/Heroes etc. (ie dragging out the initial premise to Herculean lengths, then never resolving it satisfactorily because you’ve inserted so much bullhsit in there in the attempt to stretch it out to 7+ seasons) it sounds like it could be decent.  We had a conversation about the different things we’re willing to invest in a TV show – I’m much less willing to start watching any kind of ongoing show these days because I lack the confidence that TV writers have the balls to end something.  If a story is only meant to run 1-2 seasons, that’s all it should run!!  But, of course that runs completely counter to TV programming-think.

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Nothing particularly new to me in the world of music.  I think I may like She & Him.  Still trying to decide. I like some of the songs, but I need to hear the whole album and I’m reticent to buy it without hearing the entire thing first.  I do dig the retro-50s vocal thing she’s doing though.  I like the sound, but not so much in its original context – amusing, yes?

I’m debating ordering Dear Leader‘s now album – it’s ex-Sheila Divine frontman Aaron Perrino’s current project.   They were a great band that I think was just hitting their stride when they vanished so hey, good luck with reincarnation.

I heard a rumor that Jawbox was going to be on some douchebag’s late night show.  That guy from SNL who couldn’t keep a straight face to save his life.  Can’t remember his name for some reason.  Crazy.

The Monsters of Folk album is ok.  Not ok enough for me to rush out and buy it, but ok.

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Z has a selection of chorus lines he says now when he’s in the mood, inevitably going from one to the other.  “Beating like a hammer” (Metric), “It’s cold outside”, (classics), “hit the road jack/don’t come back no more” & a few others I’m brain farting on right now.  He usually knows 1-2 extra lines of the songs as well.  It’s freaking adorable.  He’s starting to get a little bit of melody going too.

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I’m in one of those “everything bores me” phases right now, hoping it will end soon.   Could just be the seasonal doldrums.